Rainbow’s dilemma

By Larkin

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Rainbow slowly woke up and then went back to sleep.

After a bit, he sat up in bed in very slow-motion and then fell back into the pillow. This time it was a deep sleep full of dreams.

He was with a boy with dark hair and they were both running. In his dream, Rainbow didn’t know what they were running from; he only knew that they had to get away. At the same time, he realized that the boy he was with ran faster and kept getting farther ahead. Rainbow was afraid that he would lose the boy and then he would be alone. The dream took on a desperate mood.

He called out, “Please wait, don’t leave me!”

The boy kept running faster. Rainbow’s legs wouldn’t let him catch up and he saw the boy disappear over a hill. Now, he no longer had the will to run and he sat down in the road and began to cry. It wasn’t a cry of disappointment; it was a cry of profound despair.

There was a thunder clap and the earth began to move. “Robert! Robert! Get up, you’ll be late!”

He opened his eyes and saw his angry Mother standing in the door. “Now get up and get dressed before you miss the bus!”

Rainbow sat up. “I’m up, okay!”

He waited for his Mother to go before getting out of bed because he was naked.
His mind searched the strange dream for a reason for him to feel so depressed.
Even though his boner stuck straight up, he just didn’t feel like it.

In the bathroom, he stood in front of the toilet, then leaned way forward and supported his weight with one hand against the wall. With his other hand, he pushed his stiff penis down just to be able to pee into the toilet. As with most mornings, it took awhile and as with most mornings, he forgot to lift the seat. Even though he knew he would get yelled at, he sprinkled pee all over the lowered toilet seat.

The dream was vivid like a movie, but it was in pieces. He tried to put it back together.
He thought of the boy and realized that it was Josiah from school. They had skipped school and spent the day in the woods.
Rainbow looked at himself in the mirror.

His hair stuck up in all directions and he had that “Just woke up” look on his face and washing it didn’t seem to help.

For just a moment, he considered changing his name from Rainbow back to Robert.

It wasn’t the dream; it was yesterday that was bothering him. He looked at his face in the mirror.

“Fuck me! Oh no! I had to suck Josiah’s dick and now he’s gonna hate my guts and probably tell everybody what a twisted perv I am!”

The worried look on Rainbow’s face did not suite him. “I am just a stupid, stupid faggot, I deserve to die! Why do I always have to fuck things up?”

It was a perfect day to wear his “Please kill me” tee shirt but they told him not to wear it to school.
He turned the tee shirt inside-out and wore it anyway.

He looked in the mirror again and said out loud, “I hate myself!”

Rainbow didn’t care, so he finished dressing in yesterday’s clothes.

He continued to mumble to himself.
“I should change my name to Stupid, no, change it to Stupid Faggot Cocksucker Perv!”

He looked at his face in the mirror again.
“I‘m an asshole!”

Rainbow pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up and hid himself in it. It made his face dark and shadowy.

He did realize that he had been too hard on himself, but it was a way to get it out of his system. It didn’t change the fact that he really was depressed. He had missed the bus so he caught a public one. Rainbow sat by himself in the back. He dreaded school and for a moment thought he might skip again today and sit in the woods all day and try to get all spiritual.

He was thinking about Josiah.

“What is it when you know someone and they are just like any other kid?
A kid you look at and talk to about stuff.
But then one day, like an accident, you hold them close, you kiss, you breath in their scent, you play with each other dicks and you begin to see how lonely and beautiful they are, and maybe they might think you are beautiful too.
Maybe, just maybe, you might have found love.”

Those thoughts made him feel a little better.

“Yeah, but Josiah is normal, not a bogus perv like me.”

Looking down, with his hood still up, he plodded through the noisy hallways to class.
And then it happened… Josiah passed him going the other direction.
Josiah didn’t appear to notice Rainbow.

“He either hates me or he’s trying to be cool.”

Rainbow continued to carry on a conversation with himself.

“You know, I don’t really care if everyone thinks I’m the school fag. I mean, Stevie pretty much told everybody anyway. I really liked him and it was him that kept asking me to blow him. I really liked him until he started treating me like someone to pee on like a big joke. Now I’m in the same fucked-up situation with Josiah.”

The day dragged on and when he saw Josiah again with a similar non-reaction, he got seriously depressed.

“I can’t help it.

When you hold on to someone and you feel their whole body tense up just before they cum and then they cum and you’re close to them and you can feel everything, how can you not fall in love with them?

Why do I fall in love so easily and they don’t fall in love with me? Besides being retarded, what’s wrong with me?”

 

The Teacher cleared her throat. “Rainbow! If you’re going to sleep in my class, you might as well sleep in the office now sit up!”

Rainbow may not have been paying attention, but he wasn’t asleep.
Gratefully, the end of the day did finally come and a swarm of kids headed out to the busses.
His self imposed solitude was so intense that his other friends just stayed away.
He felt a tap on his back. Rainbow turned to see Josiah standing in front of him.

He looked serious.
“Hey Rainbow, we got stuff to take care of.”
There was a solemn tone in his voice.

Rainbow was silent but he thought to himself,

“Okay, this is when Josiah kicks my ass for being a little faggot and trying to convert him and then after he done, he’ll be sure to tell me to keep my fuckin mouth shut.”

He led Rainbow behind one of the portable units and once there, Josiah put his arms around him and kissed. Josiah spoke softly to him,

“My dick has been up all day just thinking about you suckin my dick. Let’s go somewhere and hook up.”

Rainbow’s dark cloud lifted and blew away as if he had never been depressed a day in his life.

He handed Josiah a red Starburst and then they both headed for the busses.